I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
