yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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