How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
