matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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