I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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