Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
porn star boner night. come get it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
