we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
