My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just gargled with NyQuil
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
