I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
