wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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