I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
