That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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