the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm too high and old for this...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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