i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
