U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
