I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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