just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize