So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
