We got so high we made milksteak
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
