my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
