I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
