Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
