Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
