uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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