Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
