I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
im on a boat
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