BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
