dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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