Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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