it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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