every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
