We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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