how can u be prego again
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
