Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize