Well apparently he's into motor boating.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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