That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
