also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
