Im at strip club and am horny
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it's like iHOP with fire
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
