tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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