so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
