I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
