I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We are two peas in an std pod
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
