No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize