I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize