She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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