She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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