: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
