I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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