DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
