What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He felt like a one man threesome
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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