My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
