The brown eye won't let me do that either.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
