brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
