He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
