I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Randomize
