Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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