I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
