It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
