she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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